By NH Gator on 10/10/2007 9:48 AM

Contrary to logic, let's start with Bi-losses (it sounded better in the title this way).  Wow!  Back2Back losses pretty much just kissed Back2Back National Championships goodbye.  There is little one can say that will make Gator fans feel better, although ItalianGator did a pretty good job.  I'll tell you who the real losers are, the people of the state of Louisiana.  That place sucks.  I have been there, and every second I am there all I can think about is how I can get back to Florida while avoiding the state of Mississippi (pretty long drive).  Maybe that is why if you google image "Louisiana Sucks" my picture shows up on the first page (I shit you not, awesome).  We will get over it.  We have all been through way worse times as Gator fans.

 

Grimace, LSU's most famous alum

Now, onto Bye-Weeks.  I like the bye week as a fan.  It gives me a chance to relax and just enjoy some football for a weekend.  Normally, I could careless about any other game going on other than the Gators, but during the bye week it gives me a chance to get my bearings and really see where we are at.  As a player under Urban Meyer, I would hope and assume that this bye week will be miserable.  In Urban's 3 years at Florida he has never lost at home, and he has never lost back to back games.  Both of those streaks are down the tube in the last two weeks.  I don't care how young we are or how much potential we have.  Good coaches hate losing.  That is just the way it is.  He can talk about all of the positives with Mick Hubert, but trust me, someone is paying for the shortcomings of the last two weeks.

 

Urban callin' bitches out back in the day.

 

Finally, I'm not sure, but Tim Tebow is probably  bissexual. 

 Here me out.  I am not saying Tim Tebow is gay, far from it.  However, if anyones sperm could impregnant a man it would be Tebow's.

 

Only Arnold's uterus could contain Tim Tebow

What I am saying is that Tim Tebow saw more action his first semester at UF than the cast of Rock of Love at the Glam Jam Tour.  The guy has probably done things to women that the BangBus guys would find offensive.  I'm just saying he might need to spice things up eventually.  Some say he is a good Christian boy with strong moral fiber.  Well, maybe it is time to pass the pipe back to Marcus Thomas because that ain't the case.  He is still 20 years old, and every chick on that campus would take back their old nose just to get a wiff of his jock.

  

NOOOOOO!!! Where did you get that?  Where did you get that?

 

Anyways, the guy gets his hands on more bumper than a body shop.  I wouldn't be surprised if he throws a dude in there every so often.  Ask ItalianGator what the Romans used to do...

 

He may only run to the left, but definitely swings both ways

 

-NH Gator

By NH Gator on 9/12/2007 9:17 PM

www.gatorzone.com/story.php

 

That's right Gator Fans it is finally happening.  Lynyrd Skynyrd is playing Gator Growl.  Since 1964, loyal rock n' roll/gator fans have been begging for this double team cream dream of kickasstitude.  The question is why now?  Has Skynyrd become so commercialized that they have joined the ranks of Sugar Ray and Wayne Brady?  It is pretty tough to call Lynyrd Skynyrd, the band that invented the music which I hold so near and dear to my heart (southern rock) a bunch of sellouts, and I would never do such a thing.  Because Lynyrd Skynyrd died in a plane crash in 1977. Four years before my birth.  Now I have seen the current "Skynyrd" in the flesh.  Back in 2001 Alden and myself attended a Lynyrd Skynyrd at Universal Studios (bad sign).  They played quite a set which included Sweet Home Alabama, 1/2 of Tuesday's Gone, and about 13 other songs that weren't Free Bird.  God forbid they open with Free Bird.  People would get trampled trying to get out of there.

 

Every other song should be called "NOT Free Bird" because that's what it is!

Today Skynyrd is a bunch of old guys losing their hair and riding the coat tails of one of our states greatest artists.  Go see a Van Zant (Current lead singer Johnny Van Zant's other band) show and bring an extra big shotgun, because with all the SUCKING going on it is gonna be pretty hard to BLOW your brains out.

However, let's not get out of hand here.  There are obviously some sour grapes up here on the north side of the swamp.  Yes, since I have left Gainesville Tom Petty (Gainesville's Greatest Son) and now Skynyrd are playing literally across the street from my house.  Unbelievable.  But as mediocre as this show may be, there is one thing you can always count on at a good southern rock show.  There will plenty of nasty white trash biker chicks ready to dump out their snacktrays at the drop of a rebel flag skull cap.

 

DUMP 'EM OUT!!!

Anyways, I hope you all have a good time at this years Growl.  Don't bring ear plugs though, otherwise you won't be able to hear Johnny boy's vocals over the sound of brother Ronnie rolling over in his grave.  I'll tell you one thing though.  If the real Lynyrd Skynyrd were alive today.  They would not be at Gator Growl, they would be at 16 1/2 doing GatorHead Funnels and eatting Five Star... or at Balls.

NH

By NH Gator on 9/3/2007 6:43 PM

Where is my boy Major at?  For those of you who don't know, Major Prognostications was potentially the greatest podcast ever created.  It was a very simple format.  One man (Major), two segments, all SEC... mostly Gators.  For the first 10 weeks of last year Major talked us through the SEC.  He really knew his shit too.  He would constantly tell us how awesome the Gators were, and how any day now Georgia was about to get "punched in the face!"  Then suddenly one day, he was gone.

I have looked for the podcast again this year, and it is nowhere to be found.  This brings me to my point of this waste of 0's and 1's.  There is obviously a demand for this type of program, and I feel like it may be our responsibility to provide it.  I have always said how great it would be to have multiple broadcasts of college football games: one for neutral fans, one for the home team, one for the away team, and one explict one for me.  Why can't a couple of guys get drunk, watch the game and tell me what is really happening on the field.  Sure there may be unsavory subject, the occasional racial slur, and more cursing than the South Park movie, but it would also be hysterical.

This may be asking alot for us.  Although we may have the technology to sink up our audio with that of the game, we would have to do it afterwards, and who wants to sit through 3 hours of Alden getting drunk and screaming at Alabama fans (roll tide).

 

ROLL TIDE!!!  I'll see you in Hell.

However, one of us could easily get drunk for two hours one night a week  and talk about last weekends games and this weekends match-ups (Treadwell and John).  You could even post it on this site.  Now, this whole website thing is cute, and it is great to give us a place to vent year round.  But during this time of year I feel I need a little more to make me feel a little closer to home.  So lets get a couple of microphones and make a kick ass podcast.  If some dumbass 18 year-old education major pot head can do it from his dorm room, Treadwell, you and John should be able to do it from the saferoom.

 

Trav