Ahhhhh, how refreshing it is to have a couple of weeks back-to-back with no news of bystander freshmen offensive linemen being shot or members of your defensive secondary pushing the immoral limits of credit card fraud against the deceased. Yes, quiet weeks in May, June and July are nothing but good weeks.
Alas, the newswire does have some hot & steamy news for the Gator brethren and I mean that in the most literal way. 12:30pm – August 30, 2008, welcome to your Florida football season. Please direct all appreciation and thanks to Raycom sports
Yes, those broadcasting pioneers at Raycom Sports (formerly Lincoln Financial, which was formerly Jefferson Pilot, not to be confused with Jefferson Starship, which was formerly Jefferson Airplane and is now just Starship, who built this city…on rock and roll) have hopped aboard the Meyer, Harvin, Tebow train to kick-off their 2008 season of 180 p HD magic. Yes, you read that right. Hey, that SEC humidity really fogs up them lenses without a good coat of Vaseline on em!
Unknown Fact: Jefferson Pilot actually flew both Jefferson Airplane and Jefferson Starship. No one flew Starship because it was an intergalactic battle cruiser and it flew itself bitch.
Really though, I don’t have much of a problem with being selected. Aside from having to tailgate early, the pros probably outweigh the cons.
Free TV > Pay Per View – Even if the cameras are on lease from the CBS museum of television history.
Is there really THAT much difference between the ball sweltering, gasoline fire, hell’s flame thrower heat from 12:30 – 3:30 pm than the 100 bitches in a bitch boat, volcanic ejaculate, habanera heat from 3:30 – 6 pm. (Yeah, first usage of ejaculate in 08!!!)
By the way, the answer is “no.”
+
=
12:30 pm August game OR 3:30 pm August game. It's multiplication by Zero...the same damn result.
Heat wouldn’t be a problem for these teams if the game was played on the outskirts of an equatorial rain forest, on fire, with a field surrounded by ovens. It’s Hawaii and Florida, they’ll manage to play a fine game of pigskin under the sun. Some how. Some way.
Do you have any idea what time a 12:30 pm kickoff is in America’s 50th state? Neither do I, but depending on observance of daylight savings, I’m guessing it’s probably 7:30 am. Lost has completely ruined my understanding of island time, so it could very well be 6:19 pm in the evening. However, if it is 7:30 am, and the Hawaii players have had a long trip losing hours, I expect them to be sleepwalking through the first half. +1 Gators.
Raycom week 1 leads to no Raycom week 2. Meaning? Miami = ESPN2 night game = tailgate promise land. More time to feed my leg booze and weigh it down for the inevitable kick to hurricane1's junk. I'm going to sapelo assassin your future offspring.
So mark it on your calendar el Capitan of the GSR. 12:30 pm – August 30, 2008 – Raycom sports – Hawaii @ Florida. The clock is officially ticking down to pulled pork and victory 1.
- Gator Head Funnel