7:34- If I hear the nickname "Mayday" again today I'm going to shoot my TV.
7:35- I need a new TV.
7:37- Comedy Central keeps showing the same Scrubs episodes over and over again. Of course, they're the ones where Jordan's pregnant and has even larger cans than usual, so I'm still watching, but c'mon, give me some early season stuff, will ya?
7:45- Enter Sandman? Really? I know Wake wasn't bad last year, but shouldn't they really be entering to something more like, I dunno, Wham?
7:48- Am I the only one who hates the intros that ESPN has people do now? They add nothing worthwhile and typically can't name everyone in the time given.
7:49- FSU goes 3 and out. Somebody get me the smelling salts, I'm floored.
7:51- X-scape with X-Lee? C'mon Chris, you're better than that.
7:51- Well well well, ACC refs are more clueless than Alicia Silverstone- what the hell is going on here?
7:54- Refs still can't figure this out- the ball touched a Wake guy, recovered by FSU. There was a penalty on Wake on the play, so they tell them to mark off the penalty and rekick (notwithstanding the fact that Wake did two things wrong and FSU did zero things wrong). Jeeeeesus. And Bobby is looking pleadingly at Chuck Amato, asking him to say something coherent because he can't.
7:56- 6 minutes later, still no resolution, instead we're going to go to the review. Rigoddamndiculous. I'll lay 3/1 that they can't get this right even after 10 minutes and an official review.
8:00- Whatever, this is a complete mess, now we're just giving FSU a first down back at the 42. Screw it.
8:04- Shit, another punt? This isn't going to go well.
8:13- For a game between two crappy teams that haven't done anything yet, this game is fairly exciting. It's like watching a couple retarded rats fight over the reflection of a piece of cheese. Nobody's getting anywhere but damn if you don't just keep watching.
8:14- First down! Flag? Nooooooo!
8:16- aaaaaaaaaand we're punting again. Followed by a punt. Blocked by FSU. Recovered by FSU. Fumbled by FSU. Recovered by Wake. First down Wake. Dear sweet baby Jesus, all 8 lbs, 6 oz. of you, deliver us from this abomination.
8:22- and the first truly normal punt of the night is downed at the half-yard line by Wake. Do you trust X-Lee not to take a safety? Oh good, because I don't.
8:30- and FSU's starting to drive the ball- in X-Lee's defense though, I think a blind refugee could hit guys that are this wide open. (yeah, that means I still think he sucks.)
8:31- Wake seems to be pretty content to stop the run here, and they're doing a pretty good job of it. Unfortunately they're giving up 15-20 yds a pop through the air.
8:32- FSU and Georgia seem to have the same problem over the last few years- talented, skilled, gifted WRs who can't catch a cold.
8:34- Of course, when Lee is throwing passes that the Jolly Green Giant couldn't reach, their lack of hands doesn't really enter the equation.
8:43- I've come up with the only way someone's going to score anytime soon, but it involves Optimus Prime and the world's largest strawberry shortcake. Guess we'll just keep watching a scoreless game.
8:45- Has any human being ever been worth less than Robbie Knieval? Way to do something different and worthwhile, jackass.
8:50- How long do they keep in Lee before playing the QB musical chairs again? I'd say middle of the 3rd quarter. Of course, if Wake can't do anything on offense either, it may not matter.
8:51- Fowler characterizes it as "an offensive pillow fight"- I'd say that's reason enough....
8:55- and Wake takes it 70+ to the house, praise the Lord, I just might go to church this weekend. No, no I won't. That was a lie. I'm sorry, God- are you there? It's me, Italian.
8:59- Lee escapes the rush and throws it 50 yds on a rope, 1st and goal on the 5. I'd say 50% chance they get points (not a TD, points).
9:00- Going backwards so far, 3rd and goal on the 7. 46% chance.
9:01- DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?!?! 7-7, 5:46 left in the half.
9:04- "Flutie 4 Prez" sign spotted in the crowd- Wake Forest's admissions standards have clearly dropped. Followed by discussion as to how all the Wake baseball players want to rail Erin Andrews and something about putting honey on the back of their jerseys. Nothing weird about this at all, nothing to see, move it along.
9:08- Carr lets one go right through his hands. My. surprise. is. palpable.
9:09- Lee fumbles the snap- a shotgun snap no less, Wake recovers at the FSU 19. Wake Forest promptly fumbles on the next play, recovered by FSU. This game is exceedingly odd.
9:12- 1st and goal again, set up by a long pass to Carr that was just a jump ball. But he did catch it (kind of). And then on 2nd and goal, same play- throw it up to the 6'6" guy and let him come down with it. It may be ugly and dumb, but it's productive, which is more than you can say for FSU's offense last year against Wake.
9:17- Ouch, Skinner can't get out of bounds on the scramble, down to 7 seconds in the half- can't do much at this point, need another 10 yards for your kicker, but they do have timeouts.
9:18- 2 seconds, one play- what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!! Oh, that's right, heave it to the endzone.
9:19- and Skinner throws it out of bounds, way to give your guys a chance to come down with it. Ok, that's it, I'm winded- liveblogging is like a marathon, and we all know what happened to Pheiddipides, don't we? No? Well, he died. He died. Yeah, why don't you laugh about that. I'm sure his wife and kids were laughing too, jackass.