You know how when you're watching a horror movie, and the cheerleader and/or token black guy are being chased around by the psycho, and they get to the shed and find a chainsaw. And they're like, "Fuck yeah, come get some now you wacked-out axe murderer!" And then you see that the axe murderer is right outside the door, and they cut back to the two in the shed, and the guy goes to start up the chainsaw, and...nothing...sputter...sputter...and then they realize that it's out of gas? And you knew they were going to die anyways, but this just solidifies it? Yeah, that just happened to LSU. They were wielding their chainsaw members, and went to pull the cord, and...nothing.
Which pretty much means that the only safe team in the SEC is whoever has the bye week. Which, thankfully for us, this week is Florida. People throw around this "Which conference is strongest" argument like so many nickels while trying to get a homeless guy to stop chasing you. But here's the secret: nobody actually wants their conference to be the strongest. You want to be good enough to get some respect, and that's it. Because this shit is deadly. There is no game in the SEC that can be taken even a little bit for granted. The traditional powers are still there, the doormats are knocking off at least a team a week, and the middle of the pack is battling like hell to not be forcibly assaulted in a very uncomfortable place by whichever power or doormat they may be taking on that week.
What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
No, not like the back of a Volkswagen, you sorry little Kevin-Smith-joke-recycler. Like in the ass. Because that's what it's like. Being a fan in the SEC is not fun. It's pain, and not a good pain like you read about in the Penthouse Forum, it's real pain. My blood pressure is so low right now for the sole reason that we aren't on the field this week. Ask an LSU fan how much fun it is. Ask Georgia fans how relieved they are to have avoided dropping their second straight to Vandy. And all you get to do is lace 'em back up next week. Who are we playing next, Kentucky? Looks like my local Chinese restaurants are going to be seeing me alot this week, gotta get psyched up for the 'Cats.